SLY BOOTH COUNTRY MUSIC IS THE WORST

[Verse 1] I rolled into the honky tonk with my F-150, Mud on the tires and a broken heart with me. Got my boots stompin', dog tags jinglin' loud, Cooler in the bed full of beer and my buddies crowd. Mama called again, prayin' on the phone, Said "Son, quit that whiskey and come on home." [Chorus] Country music is the worst, it's drivin' me insane, Same ol' songs 'bout dirt roads, whiskey, and pain. Trucks, beers, and broken hearts, tight jeans and torn-apart, If I hear one more small-town girl in the dark... I swear I'm switchin' stations, but the dial won't turn, Country music is the worst... but it's all I ever learned. [Verse 2] John Deere hat tilted, camouflage on my vest, Huntin' season stories and flannel on my chest. Tailgate down, fireball passed around the fire, Everybody cryin' 'bout their ex and their tires. Grandpa's got his shotgun, singin' 'bout the Lord, While the fiddle saws away on that same ol' chord. My buddy lost his woman to some city-slicker fool, Now we're all howlin' at the moon like a pack of fools. [Chorus] Country music is the worst, it's drivin' me insane, Tractors, backroads, Friday nights in the rain. American flags wavin', faded jeans and cheatin' songs, Where the good Lord, cold beer, and heartbreak all belong. I try to turn it off but the radio burns, Country music is the worst... and it's all I ever learned. [Bridge] I would like to quit it but like all the country stars, I got no god damn talent, just these old guitars. Can't write nothin' new, just the same ol' pain, Trucks and beer and Jesus runnin' through my veins. Every time I swear I'm done, that steel guitar cries, Pulls me right back in with them teary eyes... Dang it all to hell. [Final Chorus - bigger, with gang vocals] Country music is the worst, but I can't quit it if I tried, It's in my blood like sweet tea on a Saturday night ride. From the Bible Belt to these dashboard lights, We keep singin' 'bout the same ol' wrongs and rights. Hate it, love it, cuss it, hug it, pass another cold one, Country music is the worst... But damn if it ain't number one! [Outro - slow and defeated] Yee... haw. Or whatever the hell. Pass the beer.